Hi my name is Sam, I live in London and I am a Drama student :)
My favourite bands are My Chemical Romance, Black Veil Brides, Bright Eyes, Falling In Reverse, Silverstein, Bring Me The Horizon, Old Escape The Fate, Underoath, Alesana and 30 Seconds To Mars.
My favourite tv shows are True Blood, Dexter, 30 Rock, The Office, Weeds, Community, Scrubs and Lost.
My favourite movies are American Psycho, The Shawshank Redemption, Inception, Suicide Room, Walk The Line, Catch Me If You Can, A Street Car Named Desire and Cruel Intentions.
something vague(thoughts&stories)
SOMETHING VAGUE
I reject you reality and substitute my own, this phrase is stuck in my head all day, I don’t know where it came from, if I read it, heard it on the radio or maybe it was something I said…who knows, i don’t think it matters. I am walking down the street headphones in and leather satchel over my shoulder. Endless droves of people speed past me, seemingly in worlds of their own, rushing away to somewhere for reasons I can’t understand. Maybe I just don’t want to. I look at them, the people, and think how do they do it? How do they look so…normal?Normal…is that the word? I seem to be missing out on something, I am lacking some kind of knowledge or vital human element that these people seem to have in abundance. Something is missing. Something is wrong. I can’t quite put my finger on it. It hurts. It hurts so much. Then it’s gone and I can’t feel anything, for days…sometimes weeks on end. Trapped inside a world that will never accept me, and in return I can never accept myself. Is this life? Is…this…it? I have sat around and waited for so long, waited, waited for my life to begin. This is it. This is really it isn’t it? Oh god this is depressing. This must be the place by The Talking Heads plays through my IPod. Somewhere a child is crying, A homeless man begs for money. Another child starts crying somewhere, it might be the same child, maybe it’s not even a child. I wipe the tear from my cheek, my eyes hurt, and everything bothers me.
SOMETHING VAGUE, SOME KIND OF ENDING
I get out of the shower and before I begin my morning routine I stare into the mirror, not at my self exactly, just looking deep into nothingness as the room fills with steam from the shower. My reflection is disappearing; somewhere in the building The Pixies play ‘Where is My Mind’.
I am thinking of all that has unfolded over the last few months (it’s all very sketchy). I am thinking about all the madness and horror that has unfolded. I am thinking if any of this will change my behavior and outlook on life. I am thinking yes, it will, I can change, cant I? The world is not lost; it can be saved but then I here someone say: I don’t believe you. This might have been my self but I can’t be sure at this point.
SOMETHING VAGUE, SOME KIND OF BEGINNING
I am a sketch of my self. I feel like a drawing of some sort that hasn’t yet been completed and more than likely never will. I’m just a sketch of me, a portrait drawn by someone who doesn’t really know me. My personality and thoughts aren’t my own, just a mix of ideas and images I have taken in over the years. This is the world from which I can not escape.
